Turns out we're like that. We don't easily perceive ourselves with out help. Many of us work hard over the course of a lifetime-- enlisting the help of many tools and teachers in order to see ourselves clearly so we can work with what is instead of what isn't.
What often becomes the neurotic obsession with self -analysis persists because to live in a state of confusion about our essential nature is painful. It creates messes from choices we make based on who we're trying to be and or who we want others to be for us. We're all delusional to the extent that we prioritize our organization of basic awareness around avoiding feelings and being attached to outcomes.
How would our lives be different if our seeing was clear?
Seeing our own nature clearly requires knowing the difference between what renders things invisible to us, and what throws a can of paint over them.
Let's say I asked you to as simply and accurately as possible identify the physical characteristics of your immediate surroundings. The only rule would be to avoid using adjectives that contain value judgments. In my case, I'm in my bedroom. It has four walls, an a- frame ceiling made of wood, a wooden floor, a white leather sofa against one wall, etc.
That's not a difficult thing to do. I just look around and name objects.
What's important to know is that this room is what it is and doesn't ever wish it were otherwise. Spending time in nature I can make the same observation. At a given moment I can acknowledge the basic landscape for what it is. If I'm standing in a park with tall trees or no trees or a stream or no stream these are things that are simply the truth of the physical features of where I'm standing. I can notice that the grass was wet this morning and now its dry. Nature is comforting precisely because its free from being conflicted about itself- because we aren't conflicted about it. Animals and very young children feel effortless to be with as they too are in a pure state of being that's easier for us to notice.
It would never occur to most of us to look at a sunset and feel rejected if it didn't show up for us with clouds that were a particular shade of pink. Nor would most of us try to insist that someone change their gender or their skin colour to make us happy. Clearly then we have the capacity to observe and be with what is. Remove the strain of judgement about things being something different and seeing clearly suddenly becomes possible-- once detached from self-worth, judgement, reactivity, need, desire, projection.
Seeing in this way is close to freedom and to love.
Yet if I asked you to see into your own essential nature- the core that makes you you- what makes that any less simple? More problematic?
"Ah" says the mind, "unlike the tree in the park which can only become what it is, I have made myself what I am, I have a story." Oh really? What if your investment in your story and my investment in mine makes it nearly impossible to see ourselves and others as they are in the here and now?
Question: Can you be in your own or another's quality of being with the same innocence with which you stand in a park full of living trees?
If you were able to do so, how might your enjoyment/peace with what is be enhanced?
Walk into someone's life today as if you were walking into a park. See if you can experience their simple essence as an expression of ever evolving qualities rather than fixed good or bad attributes. Practice letting them be. Let yourself be.
Or if that's a struggle walk away. Come back later- don't come back at all.
Whatever happens, know that if you stand in a park wishing it were an ocean- believing that if only it cared it would be an ocean, that it told you once it was an ocean and you felt wet back then.....that you are not seeing things as they are. As A Course in Miracles asks us to consider in one of its' workbook exercises: I see only the past.
Without seeing in the moment there is no acceptance of what is, without acceptance of what is there is no love.
Without love there is no seeing so there is suffering.
Learning to see is why we're here. Think about it. Isn't spiritual enlightenment referred to as awakening ?
Sleeping through life is when your eyes are closed. A good indication that you're asleep is that you see problems- you identify with being unhappy. Or, ironically you're ecstatic because the world is conforming to your picture for it. Also a sign of sleeping.
Pouring the paint of loving vigilance around seeing with new eyes each moment gets easier with practice.
It wastes no energy.
Still, We can't be too kind with ourselves and others when we behave out of stubborn adherence to blindness over and over again.
We'll open our eyes as we do- its all we have, all we are.
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